SILENCE SPEAKS LOUDER: MY 10-DAY VIPASSANA MEDITATION RETREAT IN SRI LANKA
Last year, I embarked on a transformative journey to Asia that started by visiting Sri Lanka, a country whose breathtaking natural beauty and warmly welcoming people evoked memories of my homeland, Colombia. Inspired by Sri Lanka's rich Buddhist heritage, I decided to apply to a Vipassana Meditation Retreat there looking to immerse into the practical teachings of the Buddha and into a profound connection with my inner self. In this blog post, I'll share the highlights and insights from this life-changing experience that challenged my perception of self and reality.
Arriving to The Meditation Center
On March 12th, 2022, I arrived at the Anuradhapura Vipassana Center in the north of Sri Lanka. I had applied approximately three months prior and received acceptance a month ago, along with information about logistics, what to bring, and the retreat schedule. For some reason, I hadn't looked into the schedule beforehand, which turned out to be a good thing as it spared me from unnecessary worries about the rigorous timetable and extended meditation sessions.
Looking at the schedule posted on the wall for the first time, I felt a bit overwhelmed: 9 hours of meditation daily? Am I reading that correctly? Nine hours!? Okay, at least there are breaks in between... and I thought there would be some more relaxed days haha. After the registration, my personal belongings, including my phone, were stored away. Turning off my phone felt like stepping into a different world, knowing I wouldn't use it for the next 10 days—the longest digital detox since I first got a smartphone around 2010.
We were then led into the facility and assigned rooms. To my pleasant surprise, I received an individual room with a single bed (complete with a mattress) and a mosquito net. It was better than expected, especially considering anecdotes I'd heard about other Vipassana Centers where people shared rooms with beds made of a single-piece wooden table.
There was also some time to get acquainted with fellow participants and engage in conversation before the noble silence began at the opening session that evening. Noble silence meant a complete restriction from any form of communication, including verbal and visual—no eye contact or gestures were allowed.
Days 1 to 4
The first day was surprisingly nice—I was excited for the new adventure, and the meditation guidelines and instructors were ready to welcome us. The morning meditations felt surprisingly easy, and the food was amazing—definitely not my usual breakfast, but it was delicious. The highlight was the evening talk by Mr. Goenka, the guy behind Vipassana Meditation. His wise words and teachings hooked me right from the start.
Then came the second day, and it was a mental struggle. The silent vibe and the repetitive meditations forced me to face the noise in my head. As I tried to focus on my breath and the area around my nose, a new kind of awareness started kicking in. But, oh God, the physical pain hit hard. Naively, I believed that my consistent yoga practice would effortlessly translate into an easy meditation pose, but doing it for hours on end taxed my back and joints in ways I never expected. I vividly remember thinking, "Who told me I could do this? Why am I here when I could be on a beautiful Sri Lankan beach enjoying myself instead of going through this insane pain?"
Day three was the toughest. As the silence deepened, so did the crazy thoughts in my head. The emotional stress even took a toll on my body, and I ended up with severe constipation. Desperation pushed me to talk to my teacher, and my first words after the retreat started were all about complaining and asking for something to treat my constipation. But my sweet teacher looked at me and said, "Everything is going to be fine, dear. I've been observing you, and you're doing a great job. Keep at it." Doing a great job? I was struggling so much to be there, but at least I was doing my best.
On the fourth day, we finally got introduced to Vipassana and its technique. It was a relief to know there was something new to try in the meditations because I couldn't handle the same exercise over and over. Vipassana, meaning "to see things as they really are," led us to observe sensations in our bodies with unwavering attention. The challenges were still there, but with each meditation, I discovered the power of observing without reacting.
Days 5 to 10
By day 5, I finally got to poop—woohoo! It was like a small victory, and knowing I was halfway through and past the toughest days boosted my motivation. The meditations started to feel a bit easier, and I got treated to a fruit plate for breakfast with my all-time fave, papaya. I enjoyed the food but having spicy curry and rice at 06:30 am was definitely too much for my belly.
Day 6 struck me like I was riding a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions. Meditating was a struggle, and the pain was taking center stage. It felt like a knife going through my back, right by the shoulder blade. To make things worse, we were now supposed to keep the meditation pose without moving. Impossible, I thought. I’d been stretching my legs and shifting around to ease the pain, but I decided to give it a shot. Surprisingly, I made it to the end. It was a total mind-over-body moment, and it's something I still remember when facing challenges. It's a reminder of how powerful I am :)
Days 7 to 9 brought the rewards of my hard work. The pain started fading away, my mind got sharper, and the Vipassana body scan became way easier. My senses became very acute—I could hear animals and nature more clearly, and everything looked brighter and more beautiful. The food tasted better, and I loved the whole vibe of silent meals. We'd all sit peacefully, tuning into our bodies to decide what to grab from the buffet, no rush, no overeating. That mindfulness around food became a big deal in my health journey, something I now preach to friends and clients as a key tool for good nutrition.
Feeling the free flow, as Mr. Goenka says—a sense of energy flowing through the body—was pretty cool in a few meditations. But, I learned not to get too attached to it because that could mess with your head. The real challenge at this point was staying equanimous and accepting whatever came up without judgment. Buddhist concepts into action!
Day 10
The last day was here, and with it came a bit of melancholy that it was all coming to an end. Funny enough, by this point, I felt like I could've kept going for a couple more days. I had gotten into the rhythm of the routine, the meditations, and the food. But, let's be real, I was also pretty excited to leave and explore more of Sri Lanka—especially those beaches I'd been daydreaming about during some of the meditations as my way to stay motivated.
I thought the noble silence was going to break that night, but surprise! It ended during our Metta (loving-kindness) meditation that morning. Out of the blue, the teacher says, "Now, you can talk to each other." What? I was shook for a minute, watching people start chatting like the past 10 days of silence never happened. I tried to join in, but the words got stuck, and all I could manage was a lump in my throat and tears coming down my face. So, I made a quick exit to let it out and ended up sharing a big, tearful hug with my friend Kathy who'd gone through it all with me. We cried happy tears and felt like we'd climbed a massive mountain. Trying to talk to others left me a bit dizzy, and I couldn't handle it for too long.
Lunch time came and everyone was talking and gathering around. It just wasn't the same. The food didn't taste as good, and I found myself longing for the sweet silence again. I distanced myself from the chatter and only shared the bare minimum. The last night came by, and the next morning, we got our belongings and were sent back into the real world.
It took me a bit to step out of the meditation bubble and face "reality." I was crazy anxious about turning on my phone again, but our driver was waiting to cotinue of our Sri Lanka adventure.
Breakthroughs and Insights:
Amidst the silence, breakthroughs emerged:
I've noticed a tendency to overthink—a constant mental buzz that leaves little room to connect with my inner self. While Yoga and my journey so far have helped, it's clear that there's still work to be done in clearing out the mental and physical clutter amassed over 33 years.
I find myself prone to excessive judgment and therefore I sense a feeling of being judged by others. At one point during the retreat, I even perceived voices judging me for not meditating properly and frequently opening my eyes to look around. It became apparent that feeling judged is linked to my own judgments, operating beneath conscious awareness.
Nothing is permanent. Be it positive or negative, things, people, and situations are ephemeral. Craving or aversion, in turn, leads to suffering.
The path to liberation lies within. I acknowledge that I play a role in constructing my mental barriers but also possess the capacity to break free.
I've recognized my agency in determining how I feel; external factors don't dictate my emotions.
I am stronger that I thought. I've realised a capacity to achieve whatever I set my mind to.
My 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat in Sri Lanka wasn't just a getaway; it was a deep dive into the recesses of my mind, a mental surgery, and a profound exploration of my consciousness. It wasn't the noble silence or the simple accommodations I struggled with; it was the internal battle to sit still and silence the mind. It turned out to be more painful and challenging than I initially anticipated—a humbling lesson in itself!
This journey reminded me that, sometimes, the most profound truths emerge in the quietest moments. The memories of that peaceful center in Anuradhapura still echo within me, guiding my journey toward inner peace and self-realization.
Would I do it all over again? Absolutely!
I want everyone to go through this experience, the world would be a better place if we all take responsibility over our feelings and work on our personal development. If this resonated with you I invite you to check the Vipassana website and find more info about the next retreats available close to you. If you need a hand on this I would be happy to help :)
